When the clicking and clacking came closer, it stopped. I heard a woman yell, "NO! Not here!" and opened my eyes to see her dragging a German Shepherd down the hall by a leash - the dog was frozen in defecation mode, gliding along the tile floor as she pulled the leash.

Just as the dog slid beside where my head lay resting on my backpack, it accomplished its mission. Right next to my head. And the dog's owner just kept dragging...

Over dinner one evening, I related this story to a friend of mine. She's a professor, and teaches in that same classroom where I was waiting for my class. Same class, as it turns out.

She told me of a New Year's Eve party in San Francisco where everyone ended up sleeping on the floor in the living room. In the early morning hours, my friend woke up to find a pile of dog crap next to her. Right next to her head. She rolled across the room and went back to sleep.

Later, when she awoke, the pile was gone. She told her host, "I could swear there was a pile of dog crap next to me last night." Her friend told her, "Probably so. The other dog sometimes eats it."

My brother Ian finds no shame in this:

After a 5 mile run in the July heat, Ian came in the back door and grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen counter. Just as he finished and licked his lips to get the last drop, his wife Kim asked, "Did you drink that?"

Ian: Yeah, you just stood there and watched me.

Kim: Oh.

Ian: Why?

Kim: Well...

Ian: Why!!??

Kim: I was dipping a rag in that glass and cleaning dog crap off the rug with it.

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