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Utah
Founded by Mormons fleeing for their lives from
yahoos in Illinois, the "new Promised Land" is
a barren desert, populated by ranchers,
environmentalists, polygamists, outlaws, and rats. Utah
is home to Moab, named for the offspring of the biblical
patriarch Lot and his daughter’s drunken frenzy of
incest Scholars believe that Drunken Incest Frenzy was
too common a town name in the state, so Moab was choice
two. Pennsylvania
What you'ns will find in PA is deer hunters, gum
bands, kids doing their nightwork, and towns named after
other states (cf. New Mexico). You'll also find a town
named Northwest, which is not far from North East - both
located more central than north or east; Southwest and
Southeastern are in their respective corners. It's a good
thing you've got a friend in PA, because you're gonna
need to ask him for directions.
Mississippi
What state has 4 eyes and can't see? Mississippi. ---
Billy: I have to go to the bathroom. Teacher: OK, but
first spell Mississippi. Billy: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-I.
Teacher: Where is the other P? Billy: In my pants. --- If
Susie marries Mr. Ippi, what state will she be?
Mississippi. --- Mississippi. Mississippi. Mississippi.
Say it enough times and you forget what it means. Try it
- Mississippi.
Florida
What do Cannonball Adderly, Ben Vereen and Jim
Morrison have in common? Besides the obvious, they all
hail from the Sunshine State. The number one destination
for the newly wed and the nearly dead, Florida boasts the
nation's oldest members AND oldest city - St. Augustine,
founded by Juan Ponce de Leon in 1565. Despite of its
location in the southeast corner of our nation, it boasts
neither the southernmost, nor easternmost point in the
US.
Guam
What the hell? Guam? A US protectorate; sounds like a
brown, sticky liquid. "You guys go on ahead, I have
some Guam I need to wash off my hands."
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