The Dictionary of American Diction No. 12

 

 

 

 

  • From a resume: Experience includes adjusting claims; analyze losses and conducts investigations.  (Follow the bouncing tenses, shifts in person, ah forget it, you got the job!.)
  • Please give me a call if you’re looking for a positive person with great attitude and can learn very fast.  (but not one with a firm grasp of the language)
  • As you may know the job market is a buyers market. I believe am one of the best investments you can get.  (as long as grammar is not required)
  • The inevitable is bound to happen.
  • These movies aren't alphabeticalized! 
  • "Then comes the whipped cream, chopped nuts and three cherries — although Greubel's restaurants replace one of the cherries for an American flag."  (on the banana split... Allison Schlesinger, AP, 8/26/04)
  • There's nothing worse than living next door to a neighbor.
  • As a religious leader, he was required to sustain from sex.  (I've heard of that tantric stuff...)
  • "Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." (George W. Bush, as reported by Reuters 9/7/04)
  • The doctor says if I don't have it amputated it will woozle up and look mummified.

 

 

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